Wednesday, January 5, 2011

"Operation: Adonis" is a go!

It's only been a few days since the return to work, and a familiar feeling has returned - that of excess, wasted energy.

A normal day usually consists of:

07:00: Wake up.
08:30: Get out of bed.
09:30: Get to work.
Lots of nothing.
17:00: Jump on the motorbike and race home.
17:30: Spend the rest of the evening with my amazing family.

As you can see, there isn't any time devoted to exercise. To quote someone I can't remember, "If my body were a temple, it would be a heavily shelled Iranian Mosque."

I am what you may call "Famine Proof". I have a healthy layer of fatty insulation; on the plus side, in an apocalyptic situation I could survive without food for a greater amount of time than all you lithe and sporty types. Unless the apocalypse involves zombies - not only will they be attracted by my juicy brain, but ample girth will have them lurching my way quicker than you can say "If you can't eat them, join them!".

 Just when you thought your day couldn't get any worse.... Zombie Nazis.

To this effect (affect? I can never work that out...), I have adapted my Zombie Survival Plan to incorporate a fitness regime. I bundled the family into The Fratelli (1), headed down to the local gym/pool (2) and signed up for a membership to everything!

 So from now on, 6AM swims and wading through the combined testosterone haze of chest beating Neanderthals "pumping iron" is on the menu.

Yay for me.

There is no cause for concern folks - my Zombie Survival Plan does not involve long stretches without food, so this wont harm my chances a bit! What? This is serious - you must be prepared for the undead.

Don't come knocking on my Telstra Tower when your family tries to crack your skull open, ala the monkey smorgasbord in Temple Of Doom.

(1) My wife's family - and now me - love the 80's masterpiece that is "The Goonies". Christine (from Chicago, Illinois) describes it as "probabably the coolest adventure movie of all time!".

Anyways, the villains in this Piratical epic are the murderous "Fratelli" family, who get around driving a blue Jeep Cherokee. Hence, we named our car the Fratelli .

(2) The pool is called the "Canberra International Sports and Aquatic Center", or CISAC (pronounced sigh-sack) for the acronymists among us. I don't know why, but the name CISAC creeps me out.

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